Plastered all over the news this week was the “cell phone coop” that can be found in 150 Chick-fil-A restaurants. Diners can receive a free ice cream cone for parking their cell phone in the coop throughout their time at the restaurant. Bribery at its best!

In just a few short years, somehow our cell phones have become an extra body appendage. Our phones go everywhere with us. Which can be advantageous for managing the multi-tasking way of life today. But, the big question when it comes to dining is “can I bring the cell phone to the dinner table?” The short answer is NO, and a slightly longer answer is don’t lay your eyeglasses or purses on the dining table either.

Guidelines for cell phone use at the dinner table:

• Your cell phone is laden with germs. How often do you sanitize your cell phone cover? Probably not often. Just think about all those locations where you have laid your phone down. Hmmm, not a pleasant thought actually.  Chances are now that you have thought about it, you most likely don’t want your cell phone next to meal you are about to consume.
• When you are a guest at someone’s home for dinner, they are actually interested in hearing what you have going on in your life and what you have to say about the state of the world. Text messaging during your time at the table is rude. Why? Think about the time, effort and expense your host has put forth to present a delicious dinner for the evening. When you are texting and talking on your cell phone at a dinner, you are sending the message to your hosts that they are less important than whatever is pulling your attention to the cell phone. If you must send a quick text, excuse yourself from the table and do your texting in private.
• If you have an important call or text that is time sensitive and must be attended to while you are at dinner, let your host or dining companions know in advance. Then tend to that call or text as discreetly and quickly as possible and put your phone away afterwards.
• It’s easy to get drawn in to the feeling that we can’t go a couple of hours without our lifeline – the cell phone. But, we can and we should. Be present with others. It’s just good manners.
• And lastly, why not create your own “cell phone coop” at home? (If you need inspiration, Pinterest is loaded with adorable real-life chicken coops. Just sayin’.) If you have little ones at home or an artist teenager, recruit them to create a “cell phone coop” for the family. They might even be more compliant if they have some ownership in the design/creation process!

Suzie with WYAM TV in Decatur, Alabama posed a question at the beginning of today’s interview with a weighty question worth exploring. Suzie felt children were nervous about going to the homes of friends because they were nervous about their lack of dining skills. Let’s approach this in a few easy steps.

Being a good guest is important and it’s not just about showing up. Often times a young person’s nerves can be quieted just by the way in which an adult welcomes them. Eye contact, a smile, maybe a handshake and saying the person’s name sounds simple when saying hello, but it leaves a positive impression. Make no mistake, this is true when those children begin to date and later enter the work environment. Teaching your children how to respond when greeted and how to greet others will be a skill they can use throughout their life.

How do you teach dining skills to your children? Let us just toot our horn for a minute. Well, less than a minute. Our book “Which Fork Do I Use?” is an excellent teaching tool for any age, from children to adults. With it’s picture heavy content, it is easy-to-follow, chockful of information, and accurate! Ok, moving on.

Began by teaching children to set the table on a daily or weekly schedule. This alone will help them to understand table setting basics and why you need certain implements or dishes at each place setting. Teach them to ask you “what are we serving?” The answer dictates what is needed. Beginning with a dinner plate, instruct your child where to put a beverage glass, which side of the plate the knife, fork and soup spoon (if serving soup) are placed, and to set a paper or cloth napkin for each diner. Encouraging your children to learn a festive napkin fold or two will encourage their creativity and thus they will feel empowered.

Teaching children table manners is an entire chapter on its own. For today, let’s just conclude by saying lifetime dining skills will serve your children well. After all, no one wants their child to be known as the guest who dines like a caveman.

 

 

Today we had a wonderful chat with Kim Bailey, who is not only a caterer/chef but also hosts Food Talk in Tampa, Florida. As we listened in before it was our turn to talk about “Which Fork Do I Use?”, he was going in to great detail teaching us how to make a corn chowder and the addition of crab at the end. It was a little distracting…in a good way. After all, it was lunch time on the West coast. He had a way of engaging his audience, and dang we KNOW that was going to be great soup!

When we wrote “Which Fork Do I Use?” we felt it was as important to share some of the mishaps we have had or witnessed as a host or guest. At one point Mr. Bailey asked both of us to share a common mistake we have seen repeated frequently. Rosemarie began by explaining many people will sit down at a table (this is especially true at a banquet where place settings are scrunched together) and have no knowledge of which bread and butter plate is theirs or even which water and wine glass is theirs. Just know that (sorry lefties) it is a right-handed world. Your water glass and or wine glass is placed on the right side of the place setting – always, no exceptions. And if it is a breakfast or brunch, your coffee cup and saucer or mug will also be placed on the right. The logic is that you will be drinking throughout your dinner. That leaves the bread and butter plate on the left side of your place setting.

Sample page from “Which Fork Do I Use?”

Linda’s story related to guests who show up early. She was hosting a fourth of July potluck BBQ at her new home for 70 guests. One out-of-town family arrived two hours early. They were clients of her husband’s and she didn’t know them well. They caught her in the pre-party chaos that all of us party-givers experience. She hadn’t showered or dressed for the party, and was in the last minute clean-up mode. The kitchen floor had yet to be mopped and in general the kitchen was a disaster. As the guests entered the kitchen, in a perky voice the woman asked what she could do to help. Early guests are difficult for a harried host. The host feels obligated to chat with the guests and every minute counts in getting ready to the party to begin. Linda quickly responded with “you can clean the toilet.” The guest did clean the toilet, and lesson learned –  they never came early again!

Tip of the day:

• Do not arrive early to a dinner party, unless you have coordinated with the host. Otherwise, arrive at the designated time. If you are more than 15 minutes late, call and TALK to the host. Don’t count on them hearing a text come through.

 

 

 

(Photo from CharlotteRestaurantTraffic)

It’s National Margarita Day, February 22.

“Your bar menu may be a simple one-specialty drink”….quoted from Which Fork Do I Use? Setting up the Home Bar.

We don’t know who coined the phrase a signature cocktail, but we like it. How many times have you set up a mini-bar for your dinner guests to select or mix a drink of their choice? Quite a few times most likely. A mini-bar begins with minimally five basic liquors: Vodka, gin, rum, whiskey and tequila. Garnishes, mixers, an assortment of appropriate drink glasses and barware tools can quickly led a host to go straight to serving white and red wine during cocktail hour and say “forget it” to having cocktails. Providing a mini-bar for your guests can be a lot of work, cost and requires someone to serve as your mixologist.  Just a side-note about having someone serve as your bartender/mixologist – you can’t assume guests actually know how to make their favorite drink. It can easily lead to guests over-indulging or creating an undrinkable cocktail. Having a signature cocktail just makes sense. Plus, it can be a fun element for your dinner party.

Become skilled at making one good cocktail, a signature cocktail, and serve it at your next dinner party. Then at future dinner parties you can serve the same drink or try a new one. Margaritas, Lemon Drop Martinis, Gin or Vodka Tonics, Manhattans, Whiskey Sours and Moscow Mules are all easy to make and tasty to drink. Your guests will look forward to discovering what you have created!

Cocktails are not all served in the same shaped glasses. In “Which Fork Do I Use?” we have detailed reference pages for Glassware, Barware Accessories, and for Setting Up Your Home Bar. It will take the guesswork out of serving cocktails for you.

Basics cocktail making needs:

• Cocktail glasses (a simple “V” shaped martini glass is a good one to start with)
• Ice bucket and scoop
• Shot glass or measuring cup
• Martini shaker
• Pitcher
• Garnishes
• Serving tray
• Cocktail napkins
• Cocktail recipe book or app (Food & Wine has an excellent annual issue)

Cocktails such as Margaritas, Lemon Drop martinis and Whiskey Sours lend themselves to being pre-mixed. Combine the liquor and the mixer together in a pitcher and keep it in the refrigerator before guests arrive. Then when ready, your drinks can be made poured proportionately into a martini shaker with ice, shaken, and served chilled.  You’ll be confident and able to serve your drinks effortlessly.

Tip of the day:

• A cocktail hour before your dinner is served should be just that – 45 minutes to an hour.

Invite a friend or two over and practice creating your signature cocktail today on National Margarita Day!

It’s February 15, 2016 and half of the United States is experiencing record cold temperatures. We, however, on the West Coast are experiencing warmer than normal temperatures. And because we love to dine al fresco, these warm days bring thoughts of an outdoor meal. We just can’t help it. The darkness and the cool temperatures still come early in the evening, but it doesn’t stop us from having friends over for a lovely lunch. An unexpected invitation may just be what your friends need to energize their day or week. We are inspired by Juliska’s blue Country Estates dinnerware in this serene setting. Who wouldn’t want to set the table with these beauties?

If we looked into our own cupboards, we most likely have a combination of classic, contemporary and vintage dinnerware. Mix it up and create a table top that says “come and sit for a while.” Your menu is going to determine how and what you set on the table.

Tip of the day:

• Do not set any unnecessary flatware on the table.

What does this mean?

How many times have you set a teaspoon on the table and at the end of dinner, it has not been used? The teaspoon is meant for coffee or tea. The name “teaspoon” was given to the small spoon as it was a unit of measure when brewing a pot of tea. Coffee and tea is served at breakfast or brunch and you may set a teaspoon on the top of the saucer, behind the tea/coffee cup. If you are serving yogurt and berries at brunch, then “yes” you would set a teaspoon on the table as part of the place setting. Or, if you were serving a dish of fruit to start your dinner, then you include a teaspoon as part of the place setting. Coffee or tea is not served with the main course at dinner, but it is brought to the table with dessert. (Pssst…if you are having a casual meal and you or your guests would enjoy your evening beverage in the form of tea or coffee, by all means serve it.  Just remember this is a little chat about the relevance of a teaspoon and whether or not it should be set on the table.)

Look at your calendar, listen to the weather report and then plan a spur-of-the-moment lunch al fresco!

 

Who doesn’t want to dazzle their guests with a fabulous napkin fold? We certainly do. The great people over at Good Housekeeping have produced this wonderful video with Jenny at OrigamiTree to demonstrate a rose napkin fold that is perfect for your sweetheart on Valentine’s Day.

Are you one of those fans who wait all year long for the Super Bowl game and party? Even if your favorite team isn’t playing in today’s game, there is the lure of the biggest junk-food day of the year, the memorable television commercials, the National anthem and half-time entertainment. Singer Garth Brooks says there are two days in the year: Christmas day and the Super Bowl. It’s a pretty big deal.

Nine helpful tips for a successful home party

1. Let your guests know what your half-time foods will be so they can pace themselves early in the game.
2. Place cocktail napkins near the drinks and drink glasses. (Guests, please use them.) After the party, no host wants to find a permanent glass ring on their favorite piece of furniture.
3. Servings spoons and small tongs are a must-have for each of your foods. You never know where those hands that are serving as utensils have been.
4. Have plenty of small plates available that encourage your guests to use them rather than standing and piecing on the foods at the buffet table.
5. Balance your menu with healthy foods such as a veggie tray or a platter of grilled vegetables to go with the ribs at half-time.
6. Beer is synonymous with pizza and chicken wings, but have plenty of non-alcoholic beverages and bottled water available.
7. If you have a large crowd, place a stack of paper hand towels for guests to dry their hands on in your powder rooms. Nothing is worse than trying to dry your hands on a soggy towel.
8. Guests, be aware! Please use a trash receptical rather than leaving your toothpicks, soiled napkins and half-eaten foods in various locations throughout the house.
9. Keep everyone safe and call a cab for a departing guest if they have had too much to drink.

Let’s get the party started!

 

 

Which Fork Do I Use? is “the most social-confidence-building book I have seen in a long time” says Sara Waxman, DINE magazine in the December issue!

Our mantra (one we borrow from the founder of the Protocol School of Washington, Dorothea Johnson, and our instructor/mentor) is “we didn’t know, what we didn’t know” before we were certified to teach etiquette and protocol twenty years ago. We are grateful for what we learned. It has made the two of us different people than we were. Our humble beginnings did not train us to dine with confidence. Rosemarie tells the story of her teenage years when a friend’s parents allowed her and her friend to go eat a hamburger at another location so that she would feel more comfortable while the parents dined at an upscale restaurant. Linda recalls being so nervous at a holiday dinner, white tablecloth and all, that she could barely swallow her food.

Without knowledge of their role at the table, many people will go through life declining invitations or even skipping the captain’s dinner on a cruise all because they lack the skills to be comfortable dining in any situation.

Today there are many who wouldn’t give their table manners a second thought. But, the same is not true of those who may be dining WITH them. Think job interview or a first date. Knowledge is power. Even at the dining room table. In this case POWER = CONFIDENCE. And confidence looks good on everyone!

Planning a big event? It doesn’t have to be a wedding. Perhaps you are planning a BIG birthday celebration. Or, a retirement party. Or, a 25th wedding anniversary. Or, just about any party where you want lots of beautiful cake to serve lots of beautiful people.

The Knot has compiled a very complete wedding cake check-off list that will make your task much easier! This will help you open discussions with your significant other and present with clarity what you want your cake decorator to create. Have fun!

When you entertain, do you notice how EVERYONE tends to hang out in the kitchen where you are cooking and making a big mess? Guests, with wine glass in hand, gravitate to the home chef…who is in the KITCHEN. After all, who doesn’t want to be in on the action? The great room kitchen and living area naturally puts guests in your work space. This creates all sorts of issues.  Sometimes as the chef, you need their help. Sometimes as the chef/host you just want your guests to relax and take a night off. And that doesn’t include them standing in your work zone. In what we call laughingly a “one butt kitchen” it can cause the host a lot of stress trying to concentrate on the execution of dinner if the kitchen is small and crowded. In the great room kitchen, guests are generally mingling in and out of your work space which makes it fun for everyone. But, it can also cause some stress for the chef/host if she is wildly coordinating ingredients and the timing of each food she is preparing. Some of us are gifted at talking and working at the same time. Others are not.

How is the guest to know what to do? As a guest, when you arrive and say hello to the host/hosts it’s perfectly okay to ask if they can use your help, but it is not a requirement. However, if the host says “no, thank you” then “no” means “no.” Sometimes it means “not right now” but you’ll figure that out depending on the circumstances. For the host/chef, if they know they’ll need assistance at some point during the evening they should ask one of the guests in advance of their arrival if they would help out. There are guests (counts us in) when invited to a dining event in someone’s home that are more than happy to help. There are others who are perfectly content to be a guest. And so they should be. It’s all part of the dance we call “entertaining at home.”

The two of us dream about our perfect kitchen. No, actually we obsess about our perfect kitchen and plan many dinner parties in our heads. If you find you are spending more time in the kitchen, then you are part of a growing trend. The kitchen may just be the most important room in your house!